Thoughts on Relationships

I came across this entry that I had written quite a while ago about my thoughts on relationships and the way things are these days. Although, since then I have learned more and put the puzzle pieces together about why things happen the way they do. But as I was re-reading this, I was reminded that this is truly what I still believe, maybe not necessarily having to be the first love, but whoever a person is with, whether it be the first love, second, third, and so on. I wrote this at a time I was going through a lot so it shows a lot of what was going on in my heart. It makes me wonder if anyone else has ever felt this way. I don't really know what the goal is for this entry but I guess it's to let you in on some of what I think about. So here it is:

How many songs do you hear a day that is about missing a previous loved one? Many, right? What would happen if each person got to be with their very first love for the rest of their life? What if everyone could have the patience, strength, and dedication to wait and be committed to being together? We wonder why casual dating and sex has become so extremely common these days. People are hurt from their “first love” relationship and so they decide “Ah what the heck, I will never find the one so I’m just gonna go ‘have fun’” and end up hurting the next person. All it is is a cycle. You get hurt, you hurt others. You can try not to but it happens. What if we actually forgave our loved one in order to move on together? If anyone is like me, your first love is always in the back of your mind if not in the front of your mind. You spend time wondering what went wrong and how you’d do anything in this world to fix it. You regret ever letting them go and suddenly now you’re willing to do what you should have done the moment of the breakup (or before the breakup). You want to tell that person so many things and just forget about all the wrongs and move on together. Isn't that what love should be? And yet people all make the excuses of “I love him but I just can’t be with him because we fight too much.” or “I love her but I can’t be with her because she gets angry too much.” Well then what is love? I realize that people have different definitions of love, but from my understanding, I always thought love was supposed to be unconditional. 

I was talking to one of my residents at work one day about life and let him in on mine. When I gave him an example from a life situation of mine, he replied with "Wow, things were different back in my day. When you had a girlfriend, you went through with it and got married." If you love someone, you will conquer anything.

It sounds easy to say but if we all struggle letting a person go after we break up with them, doesn't that say something? Everyone says the cliche- “You have to be apart to realize how much you love someone."....but where’s the good in that if it’s always “too late”. It seems as though it’s always too late. “Too late, I've moved on.” “Too late, I’m in love with someone else.” What ever happened to “I love you forever.” “I’ll wait for you forever?” People don’t take the time after a relationship ends to really discover what went wrong or what needs to be changed in order to work it out with that person. They try and “get back” at that person by rushing into a relationship or having sex with multiple people, which just ruins it even more. People give up too easily. I don’t see how it couldn't work out between two lovers if both of them used that time apart to work on themselves and their own hearts in order to prepare for when they get back together. What if people were actually honest? We expect them to be perfect. Why do we expect a loved one to be perfect when we ourselves aren't perfect? We all have made major mistakes and each and every one of us knows what it’s like to have hurt someone, or let someone down so why is it that we cannot forgive the one we love so much when they do it? Why are we so careless with our words? Divorce only exists if you make it an option.