Why, why, why, whyyyy are we SOOO afraid to be honest? Is it so hard to tell someone the truth when you don't like them or that you don't want a relationship, that you don't want to be friends? Why are we so afraid? I guess I just don't understand it, maybe because I'm the extreme opposite and am too honest. I say more than I should. At work, when I make a mistake I tell my manager. When I forget to do a task at work, I say it's because I forgot. I tell it like it is. When someone asks my opinion, I will tell them my opinion, sometimes I tell my opinion even when no one asks. When something in a relationship happens, I'm the one that pours my heart and soul out in hopes of results similar to the movies. When I am upset, frustrated, irritated with you, it might take a little bit for me to gain the courage, but I will tell you. No, this does not mean that I will be mean about it but I sure as heck will tell you, in as nice of a way as I can, and if it doesn't come off that way, then I guess that's part of how I feel about whatever I am saying. I wear my heart on my sleeve and yes, maybe this is a bad thing, but it's how I am.
Are we (and I say "we" including myself because I don't mean to make it seem that by me being honest means I am perfect- there are times where it's hard to be honest, and I know there are others that are too honest like me as well) so afraid to be honest because of getting hurt? I guess it makes sense but it also doesn't make sense at the same time because by holding everything in and not just letting it out is going to increase pain, sorrows, and regrets even more in the future, you know? If a guy likes a girl, and she doesn't really like him, she could just be straightforward and TELL him! However, most of us would beat around the bush with excuses and ongoing flirtatiousness (just because it's fun, and maybe you like the person, for fun, but don't want a relationship) and not want to "hurt" his feelings. Well, by the girl beating around the bush or "using" the guy for days and days or months and months, however long SHE chooses, the girl is increasing the guy's hopes of having a relationship, which in the end will crush the guy waaaayy more than if she had told him right away.
We all, as humans, understand each other whether you agree with that or not. We all have feelings, and all have gone through similar trials and tribulations that lead to the SAME feelings. We all have felt them and have our ways of dealing with it! So again, why can't we be honest? If you understand how a certain situation feels, or have gone through something similar but from a different perspective, then...my question is, how could you be so careless to not be honest with the person that is now in the shoes that you once were in?
Now, I am not talking about if a wife asks her husband if she looks fat in a certain outfit, for him to say "yes, honey you look fat." There are ways to say things in a nice way but STILL BEING HONEST. If she is wearing an outfit that is not so flattering, he could say, (because he should in fact love her for who she is, not what she's wearing) "Baby, you are beautiful no matter what you're wearing... (either leave at that, or add on...) "but I love you in that one black dress you have." Get what I mean? Honesty does hurt sometimes, but I'm not referring to shallow situations like this. I'm talking about real situations and deep stuff. Honesty does hurt but we WILL get over it! We've all been hurt before, from the time we were born. There is no way around it, it's just a part of life. I'm sorry to be so philosophical but it's just something that has been on my mind lately and deserves time to be thought about.
If we were all honest, I truly believe (and you can disagree) that we would go through less pain, and less problems (or that problems would become easier to solve). You would know if someone liked you, you would know if you really had what it takes to be on American Idol or if you needed more vocal practice, you would know what your husband or wife likes in bed and could fulfill their needs, you would know if you were starting to fall into a dangerous pit in life but hopefully would still be able to climb out.
My prayer to God tonight is that more and more people could understand that, (as cheesy as it sounds) honesty is indeed the best policy. Honesty doesn't always have to cause pain either, it can do the complete opposite. Think of how many lovers could have found each other, or how many relationships could be healed! How amazing would it be to hear someone that you've loved for a long time say back "I love you too, I've loved you for a long time." How relieving would it be to hear "I'm sorry. I forgive you." Someone has to start. Someone has to say it first otherwise you'll never know. Be the one to be honest. It may end up being the best thing in the world, or it could cause a lot, a LOT of pain, but less pain than it would if it was prolonged. Just think, think about it.
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