Do animals feel? Can they have emotions, and feel love, happiness, sadness, heartache. Can they be heartbroken? I wish I was an animal sometimes. I wish I could be a wild horse and just run, and that's all I'd do, just run across the open land with nothing to worry about, no care in the world. Emotions can become too much, too much to deal with. The uncertainty of life, the inner struggles that just won't seem to let up. Do animals ever have hopelessness? Or do they just trudge on and just know that things will be okay in the end. When I look at an animal, it seems to me that they are content, but do I think that only because they cannot speak? A dog cries and whimpers but do they actually feel their heart crushing?
I just want to be an animal for one day, where I'd have no obligations, no responsibilities, no "To Do" lists, no job to go to, no chores to do. I wouldn't have to deal with human emotions....I hate human emotions, is there a way to just stop feeling? Life is a cycle of emotions and it gets so tiring. It is exhausting. It gets tiring having to analyze, and make decisions, and whether to take action or not to. It is a struggle to think, to decide if something is worthy of worrying about. It's exhausting to write this, to decide whether I want to let the world into my insane whirlwind of thoughts and feelings or if this is just going to end up being a draft and staying a draft. Why do we live by "rules"? I hate having to set rules and regulations for myself. I guess I don't HAVE to, but it's automatic. Sometimes there is too much in life to keep track of, way too much. I wish I could stop picking at my face and hurting my skin, all because of my anxiousness. I wish I wasn't such a perfectionist and could be OKAY with a mess and not having everything in it's place. I hate being in control of my life. It's too much, way too much.
I am sick of my flaws, sick of my nervous habits, perfectionism, constant worry happening in my head everywhere I go. I'm sick of judging everything I see. I'm sick of worrying what people think. I"m sick of worrying about what I look like. I'm tired of worrying that I won't be successful, or get married. I'm sick of worrying about worrying about worrying about worrying. I am sick of being a human sometimes! Is anybody with me on that?
So here's me letting go of ALL OF THE ABOVE to let God take care of. I am once again reminded that I don't have to be in control. He has a PLAN for me and everything happens for a reason. Maybe God created animals to help guide us, to teach us to sit back and RELAX and be PATIENT and CONTENT and PEACEFUL and TRUSTING and STRONG and STEADY and BOLD and CAREFREE. Tomorrow is always another chance to start fresh and my prayer tonight is that I will feel a difference and be reminded to just "let go" and let God work through me to attain those qualities, qualities of animals.
No comments:
Post a Comment