My Dreams

I had a dream two nights ago. I was in my apartment and it was kind of dark and gloomy. I don't know what I was doing but I think I was laying down somewhere. Unexpectedly a flood came rushing in. I was unaware of what was going on and how this flood started but suddenly I saw a little black cat floating by. I picked him up and he was all floppy and I thought he was dead but somehow he came back to life and I just held him. Then I remember I happened to be carrying 2 more cats that looked just like the first one. The water was pretty high, maybe like a couple feet deep and I was tromping through it holding these little cats with their feet dangling from side to side. Finally we got to safety and I remember thinking I gotta get their temperatures and wrap them up in blankets and keep them warm! Then my dream ended. I woke up thinking Aww I just saved 3 cats! I felt very accomplished and satisfied.

Last night I had a dream that I went to visit my parents and my sister and found that they had a pet hamster! They had him in a cage outside and he was huge! As I was looking at him, I found that he had a boil on the side of his body that looked kind of like this, but it wasn't on his face.

I went to my family and was like "Hey guys, your hamster has an infection on the side of his body! If you don't take him to the vet, it's gonna get worse and he's gonna die." I was honestly concerned for this little guy! I even asked them if they have insurance for veterinary expenses. And now that I think about that, is that real? It should be! So anyways, they said "Okay we'll see." My dream was then kind of a blur and I think it jumped to me being at the library or my job but then I went to visit my family again and to check on this hamster. The boil had spread across the one entire side of his body! I asked my family again about it and they decided to finally take him to the vet! After that, I barely remember what happened but I think the little guy ended up being okay. I was sooo relieved! 

After having these two dreams in a row, the thought crossed my mind that maybe these are confirmations from God that I am meant to go into the field of animals! In my dreams, I felt very satisfied and glad that I could help these animals.

Just an inspiring moment worth sharing!

This is a Cityscape oil painting of Paris done by R. Davey. I saw this hanging in one of my resident's bedrooms and I found it so fascinating. You probably cannot see it very well just on here but if you saw it in person, you would see what I mean. From a distance, you can tell what the objects are. You can see people, even the details of their clothing. You can see a tree, buildings, the details in the ground. But when you look at it very closely, it is all just a mixture of colors and blobs of paint. I stood there trying to figure out how the artist did it and just marveling over how talented he was. My first thought was "I need to try this!" It inspired me so much because as a kid, I used to draw all the time and was so into art, but I kind of lost it in the busyness of growing up and day to day routines. Just having this moment made me remember that I can be that talented if  I take the time at it! I guess this was kind of a light bulb moment for me.

Another thing I thought of while looking at this was the meaning. I thought of it as from a distance, from far away, we are all just people, human beings. We all generally look the same, but when you look closer and get to know someone, looking deeper, each individual is made up of many different "colors", talents, characteristics- which is what makes each person unique.

I tend to become inspired while I am at work, and not sure how that happens since I mean, come on, it's work. But somehow, some way it happens. When I'm feeling down or having a bad day, something happens whether it's a conversation with a resident or something like a painting on their wall that touches me deeper than you'd think, and this is just one example. Even though, this may not really affect others, I thought it was worth sharing. I guess it can be a reminder to keep your eyes open to deeper meanings and to possibly incorporate something new or interesting into your own life, or maybe just as simple as appreciating something beautiful.

Thoughts on Relationships

I came across this entry that I had written quite a while ago about my thoughts on relationships and the way things are these days. Although, since then I have learned more and put the puzzle pieces together about why things happen the way they do. But as I was re-reading this, I was reminded that this is truly what I still believe, maybe not necessarily having to be the first love, but whoever a person is with, whether it be the first love, second, third, and so on. I wrote this at a time I was going through a lot so it shows a lot of what was going on in my heart. It makes me wonder if anyone else has ever felt this way. I don't really know what the goal is for this entry but I guess it's to let you in on some of what I think about. So here it is:

How many songs do you hear a day that is about missing a previous loved one? Many, right? What would happen if each person got to be with their very first love for the rest of their life? What if everyone could have the patience, strength, and dedication to wait and be committed to being together? We wonder why casual dating and sex has become so extremely common these days. People are hurt from their “first love” relationship and so they decide “Ah what the heck, I will never find the one so I’m just gonna go ‘have fun’” and end up hurting the next person. All it is is a cycle. You get hurt, you hurt others. You can try not to but it happens. What if we actually forgave our loved one in order to move on together? If anyone is like me, your first love is always in the back of your mind if not in the front of your mind. You spend time wondering what went wrong and how you’d do anything in this world to fix it. You regret ever letting them go and suddenly now you’re willing to do what you should have done the moment of the breakup (or before the breakup). You want to tell that person so many things and just forget about all the wrongs and move on together. Isn't that what love should be? And yet people all make the excuses of “I love him but I just can’t be with him because we fight too much.” or “I love her but I can’t be with her because she gets angry too much.” Well then what is love? I realize that people have different definitions of love, but from my understanding, I always thought love was supposed to be unconditional. 

I was talking to one of my residents at work one day about life and let him in on mine. When I gave him an example from a life situation of mine, he replied with "Wow, things were different back in my day. When you had a girlfriend, you went through with it and got married." If you love someone, you will conquer anything.

It sounds easy to say but if we all struggle letting a person go after we break up with them, doesn't that say something? Everyone says the cliche- “You have to be apart to realize how much you love someone."....but where’s the good in that if it’s always “too late”. It seems as though it’s always too late. “Too late, I've moved on.” “Too late, I’m in love with someone else.” What ever happened to “I love you forever.” “I’ll wait for you forever?” People don’t take the time after a relationship ends to really discover what went wrong or what needs to be changed in order to work it out with that person. They try and “get back” at that person by rushing into a relationship or having sex with multiple people, which just ruins it even more. People give up too easily. I don’t see how it couldn't work out between two lovers if both of them used that time apart to work on themselves and their own hearts in order to prepare for when they get back together. What if people were actually honest? We expect them to be perfect. Why do we expect a loved one to be perfect when we ourselves aren't perfect? We all have made major mistakes and each and every one of us knows what it’s like to have hurt someone, or let someone down so why is it that we cannot forgive the one we love so much when they do it? Why are we so careless with our words? Divorce only exists if you make it an option. 

I am wild at heart!

I like to think I was born in the wrong time. I feel as though I don't belong in today's society. I seem to be against all of the "popular" ways, the process of how relationships develop and work, and how we treat one another and our earth. I don't want to be like everyone else, or be brainwashed into shallow mindsets and ways of living. In saying this, I have recently discovered my true passion(s): animals, being outdoors, the environment, nature, whatever words you want to use. I guess, you could say that I feel more like I belong with animals and nature rather than in society. That is where I find my true self. 

I keep telling myself that one day I will run away to the mountains to rough it, living with animals, escaping from the world of rules, expectations, judgement, selfishness, disrespect, abuse, fill in the blank. I don't mean to sound like I "hate" the world, because I definitely do not. I guess what I'm saying is I hate what we humans have created our world to be, but I love the nature of our earth. I wish so much to change our world, and that starts with myself looking at the positive in life and spending time focused on my passions and things that make me happy, and with that I can contribute to others and the world. 

You will begin to see that I tend to ramble because I get so overwhelmed and excited about all the thoughts and ideas running through my mind about what this blog will be about and where I am going, but let's just let it be what it is. I don't like to set anything in stone, but a general idea of what I hope to gain/give through this blog is knowledge, thoughts, and experiences of my journey of my life right now as I work towards my career goal: becoming a Veterinary Technician (....but it could change depending on what I discover!). At this point in my life, I am not enrolled in classes and I never thought I'd say this, but I miss school! I feel like a bum, and I feel the need to get out there and learn on my own and take opportunities even if they seem far-fetched, and it starts with creating this blog! You can expect to see entries about what I am learning not only about animals but also about life in general or whatever I feel like writing about! Enjoy the ride!