Why, why, why, whyyyy are we SOOO afraid to be honest? Is it so hard to tell someone the truth when you don't like them or that you don't want a relationship, that you don't want to be friends? Why are we so afraid? I guess I just don't understand it, maybe because I'm the extreme opposite and am too honest. I say more than I should. At work, when I make a mistake I tell my manager. When I forget to do a task at work, I say it's because I forgot. I tell it like it is. When someone asks my opinion, I will tell them my opinion, sometimes I tell my opinion even when no one asks. When something in a relationship happens, I'm the one that pours my heart and soul out in hopes of results similar to the movies. When I am upset, frustrated, irritated with you, it might take a little bit for me to gain the courage, but I will tell you. No, this does not mean that I will be mean about it but I sure as heck will tell you, in as nice of a way as I can, and if it doesn't come off that way, then I guess that's part of how I feel about whatever I am saying. I wear my heart on my sleeve and yes, maybe this is a bad thing, but it's how I am.
Are we (and I say "we" including myself because I don't mean to make it seem that by me being honest means I am perfect- there are times where it's hard to be honest, and I know there are others that are too honest like me as well) so afraid to be honest because of getting hurt? I guess it makes sense but it also doesn't make sense at the same time because by holding everything in and not just letting it out is going to increase pain, sorrows, and regrets even more in the future, you know? If a guy likes a girl, and she doesn't really like him, she could just be straightforward and TELL him! However, most of us would beat around the bush with excuses and ongoing flirtatiousness (just because it's fun, and maybe you like the person, for fun, but don't want a relationship) and not want to "hurt" his feelings. Well, by the girl beating around the bush or "using" the guy for days and days or months and months, however long SHE chooses, the girl is increasing the guy's hopes of having a relationship, which in the end will crush the guy waaaayy more than if she had told him right away.
We all, as humans, understand each other whether you agree with that or not. We all have feelings, and all have gone through similar trials and tribulations that lead to the SAME feelings. We all have felt them and have our ways of dealing with it! So again, why can't we be honest? If you understand how a certain situation feels, or have gone through something similar but from a different perspective, then...my question is, how could you be so careless to not be honest with the person that is now in the shoes that you once were in?
Now, I am not talking about if a wife asks her husband if she looks fat in a certain outfit, for him to say "yes, honey you look fat." There are ways to say things in a nice way but STILL BEING HONEST. If she is wearing an outfit that is not so flattering, he could say, (because he should in fact love her for who she is, not what she's wearing) "Baby, you are beautiful no matter what you're wearing... (either leave at that, or add on...) "but I love you in that one black dress you have." Get what I mean? Honesty does hurt sometimes, but I'm not referring to shallow situations like this. I'm talking about real situations and deep stuff. Honesty does hurt but we WILL get over it! We've all been hurt before, from the time we were born. There is no way around it, it's just a part of life. I'm sorry to be so philosophical but it's just something that has been on my mind lately and deserves time to be thought about.
If we were all honest, I truly believe (and you can disagree) that we would go through less pain, and less problems (or that problems would become easier to solve). You would know if someone liked you, you would know if you really had what it takes to be on American Idol or if you needed more vocal practice, you would know what your husband or wife likes in bed and could fulfill their needs, you would know if you were starting to fall into a dangerous pit in life but hopefully would still be able to climb out.
My prayer to God tonight is that more and more people could understand that, (as cheesy as it sounds) honesty is indeed the best policy. Honesty doesn't always have to cause pain either, it can do the complete opposite. Think of how many lovers could have found each other, or how many relationships could be healed! How amazing would it be to hear someone that you've loved for a long time say back "I love you too, I've loved you for a long time." How relieving would it be to hear "I'm sorry. I forgive you." Someone has to start. Someone has to say it first otherwise you'll never know. Be the one to be honest. It may end up being the best thing in the world, or it could cause a lot, a LOT of pain, but less pain than it would if it was prolonged. Just think, think about it.
Pictured Rocks
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Too much to have a title.....
As many of you know, this past month I took a road trip with my best friend Emma across the United States, and I thought maybe I should share some experiences and thoughts that I had during and now afterwards. As we planned this trip, I thought it would be the trip of a lifetime, not that it wasn't, but it wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. We planned to take every opportunity in each city and each national park to do wild adventures, like white water rafting, horseback riding, kayaking, gun shooting, and hiking everyday. We'd camp every night at a campground, we'd cook over the fire, and everything would work out great! Just two best friends livin' it up with no care in the world.
Well, that wasn't exactly how things went. But I believe that if something isn't how you expect it, that just means it's something to learn from, and this trip was one of those times. God brought to my attention three things: learning to trust Him fully and undoubtedly, learning to appreciate where I come from, and lastly confirmation for my life career. Let me tell you the story of how the first day went (mostly because it's hilarious but also a lesson learned)
The first night was great, well, started great. We reserved a hotel ahead of time in St. Louis, Missouri (only because there were no campgrounds whatsoever!). Driving downtown St. Louis was the beginning of the hectic downtown traffic we'd experience on this trip. St. Louis was quite lively as they had a concert going on under the arch (Kid Rock was there!) and a baseball game in the Cardinal Stadium. Despite the chaos, we found a nice little parking spot on the side of a street, hopped out and started walking around the city. We found a little park area they have centered in the city and made wishes as we threw pennies into the fountain.We walked up and down the streets and ate at an Italian restaurant in which we discovered the boxty! We had never heard of a boxty, but apparently it is a famous italian food. It's like a pancake with whatever meat or vegetables etc. rolled up inside, all fried and greasy :)
We followed a crowd through the fair/concert and took some pictures of the arch, and did lots of wandering around and observing. As it started to get later, we thought we should beat the rush out of St. Louis before we get caught up in traffic and so that we could have time to swim at the hotel! We headed to where we were parked but when we got where we thought it was, my car was not there. We decided to just check all the streets on "this" side of the arch. We KNEW it was on "this side of the arch" facing the arch. Still nowhere to be found. Okay, so maybe it was on the other side of the arch and our memory was just inaccurate. So we checked the streets on the other side, still nowhere to be found! What was our problem! There were many cops around monitoring the area and directing traffic so we thought if worse came to worse, we could just ask a cop to help us. But we wanted to find it on our own! We convinced ourselves that this is just a lesson from God, so we searched and searched some more, feet killing us, backs hurting, kind of weary about who was around us. I had many thoughts about what could have happened. Was it stolen? Did someone break in and steal all our luggage? What on earth happened!
Finally a couple hours later, I went to an intersection where I saw two cops.They both looked at us and out of breath I said "We need help-(sigh)." The woman came over and I explained that we could NOT seem to find my car and wondered if a cop could drive us around. She said all the police were very busy and probably couldn't drive us around but that we could report it stolen. I thought, you have got to be kidding me, when I was 7 years old in safety town, they always said police are there to help you and if you're lost, look for a policeman. I knew right then that that was probably what happened, my car had been stolen, but then I said "But how can I just jump to that conclusion that someone stole it! Maybe we're just dumb." She explained how someone could break into a car and said that with St. Louis being rated second in the country for crime rates, she wouldn't doubt it! Thanks lady! She then told us where the Police Headquarters were so we could figure out what to do.
We got there and the policeman called the 911 dispatcher for me to talk to. I explained to her the situation and she asked questions about what street we were parked on and other details, and I could not believe things had gotten to this point. I was almost on the verge of tears but kept thinking it's gonna be fine, we have to find it eventually, this won't last forever. It had gotten so late and dark out, which added to the effect of this whole situation feeling like a dream. I told the dispatcher that we were too stupid to look at the street we were parked on. I went on to try and make us not sound stupid by explaining we're just used to our hometown and knowing where things are. You can just park and use your intuition to know where you parked, but in all likelihood, we sounded more stupid 'cause she said "You don't know what STREET you parked on?!?"
She asked me a few more questions and finally said that she would send an officer to us. We went to the waiting room and waited.
(About half hour later)
A man in uniform walked in with a look on his face that expressed 'Alright, this is ridiculous' I kind of wanted to laugh because I knew it was incredibly ridiculous but I seriously needed to find my car! As stupid as I felt, I explained the situation to him and he asked the same questions that everyone had been asking us: what street were you parked on, what direction, what side of the arch, what buildings were you next to. We honestly had no idea anymore, so finally we went out to his Police SUV and he asked my license plate number (which was the only thing I DID remember, oddly enough). He found that at least it hadn't been towed, good thing! He told us to hop in the back of his SUV...we said "Ookay!" as Emma and I both raised our eyebrows as we exchanged excited glances. He moved some things over and we got in, and first thing we saw was a gun secured upright right in front of our eyes. My mood lifted and I thought to myself, This is gonna be fun! He started to drive up and down the streets and of course making U-turns whenever he felt like it.....which was pretty attractive! I said, "Sorry, you probably have more important things to be doing." and he responded "Well....I mean...." like he knew he really did but didn't want to be mean. I found his response even more hilarious. I went through so many emotions during this car ride: the verge of laughter, tears, frustration, and giddy over this policeman.
I can't tell you how many cars we thought were possibly mine, but turned out not. He kept asking us different questions to help us remember where we were parked, and Emma and I were convinced we were in a certain area. Time went on, and he was still drivin' around town and finally I was able to relax a bit. It helped that he was cute, and smelled good, and had country music playing on the radio. I found myself singing along a few times. We were able to start to remember a few things about how we drove into St. Louis and what streets we turned on. One thing led to another and he said "See, it's all coming back!" I looked at Emma and almost busted out in song by Celine Dion "It's all coming back, it's all comin' back to me no-o-oww."
After about 45 mins of driving around, I spotted my car on this tiny angle street, so he drove up to it and sure enough there was Grover! (yes, my car has a name). I said "Did we go on this street??" and he said "No, no...but we went passed it." This made me think we weren't the only ones to had a hard time! Emma and I hopped out and said "Thank you" a million times to the cop, who we think's name is Nicholas. We sat in my car and about PEED our pants, we could not stop laughing and crying! It was one of those stomach wrenching laughs where you're laughing so hard that there's no sound. We were crying out of pure joy that we finally found my car but laughing because it was probably the most awkward situation we had ever been in in our entire lives.
As ridiculous as this story was, it truly made me realize that I need to start trusting God will take care of us, and to remember what street we park on! We were thankful God placed us in this situation this only the first day so that we would remember next time. Each time we parked somewhere, we made sure we knew the name of the street we were parked on. It seems like it would be common sense, and yes it really is...but it was an eye opener to me. Sometimes it takes having the actual experience or situation happen before learning your lesson.
Besides learning to be aware of our surroundings, I learned to appreciate where I come from. After St. Louis, we traveled through Arrow Rock, MO;Omaha, NE; Platte, SD, and then into Wyoming. I never knew how non-civilized these states were. There are no people, houses, or cities for miles and miles. All we saw out the window was farmland, cows, crop fields, and just plain land, sometimes even just old junk or rusty machinery. There were many times where we didn't know when the next gas station or campground would be, but all we could do was drive. There was a tiny town that I remember passing through (can't remember what state-there were plenty now that I think about it) but there was just a few houses, a fast food joint, a bank, an elementary school and maybe a few other buildings. I remember specifically wondering what people do around there. There's an elementary school, but what about high school or college? They just have to leave their hometown when they get a certain age? And what about for fun? It dawned on me that maybe the only thing they do is farming, literally. I always thought it would be fun to live on a farm and do the whole country living thing, but I actually felt more appreciative of where I come from.
I was born and raised in Grand Rapids, MI., and in Michigan, we have the city, country, forest and beach all in one. One day you can get all dressed up, looking glamorous, heading out to a fancy restaurant downtown and then to a concert at Van Andel while the next day, putting on your jeans and boots to go out horseback riding, hunting, fishing, hiking or whatever wild outdoor adventure you choose! And the day after that, you can put your bikini on and have a lazy day at Lake Michigan or even take the speedboat for ride. We have a Meijer, Wal-mart, or Target (if not all) on just about every street. We have a gas station around every corner. We have endless restaurant choices, and plenty of events happening all the time everywhere you go seems like. No matter what direction you choose to drive, you will hit city, country, trees, and maybe even water. This is what I have found to love so much about Michigan.
You don't have to be one "type" of person and have just one hobby or thing you love to do. There are so many opportunities in Michigan to fulfill whatever desires you have. Maybe this is why we're so overpopulated? When I was younger, I'd always say to my mom "Why do we live in junky, boring Michigan? You could've chosen anywhere, but why Michigan?" I think I'm beginning to know why (smile). This isn't to say that I've changed my mind about living in a different state for a change (eventually) but it has made me appreciate Michigan so much more. When my girlfriends and I have a craving for oreos while watching our chick flicks, we are able to quick run over to the grocery store to fulfill that desire! I am able to drive my car until it gets to E and THEN put gas in, not having to worry about finding a gas station. If I want to long-board, run, or bike somewhere to get exercise instead of driving, I can do it! If I want to get away from the hustle and bustle of busy people in the city, I can find peace in a random field or park, at a lake, or nature preserve. I can observe wildlife around me, or even go to Binder Park Zoo where despite Michigan's overpopulation, they maintain the proper environment and amount of land for their variety of animals.
We have hospitals and health centers and schools everywhere. I am lucky to be surrounded by all of this, and to have my every "need" met. While driving through these plain states, I pictured myself living there and played out in my head what I would need to do in certain situations, being in the middle of nowhere. It was honestly hard to comprehend what I would do if I went into labor, sliced my finger off, needed gas, or how I would live without ice cream at 1 am. I feel very fortunate and blessed by where I come from.
Not only did I appreciate what state I live in but I was constantly being reminded to be grateful for everything I have, money, a job, a place to live, a car, family, good health. I can't tell you the number of homeless people we saw on the side of the streets, dirty clothes, pushing grocery carts, crying or talking to themselves, begging for money. Here I'm able to take this gigantic road trip across the country and they're just trying to find their next meal. I hope to continue to be reminded that I'm blessed.
Yellowstone National Park was where I found confirmation for what I believe I was born to do, to learn about and make a difference in nature and animal's lives.Yeah, yeah it sounds so cliche or cheesy but I truly mean it. The first night at Yellowstone was a nightmare only because we could not find any open campgrounds. They were all full so we ended up staying at a crazy expensive hotel just outside the park. The next day, we drove back in early so we could make sure we got a site! We got our site and went on to start exploring! As most of you probably know, Yellowstone is known for having a variety and abundance of wildlife. When we had entered the park, they said something like "Remember! There are about 400 bears and over 2,000 bison between here and the end of the park. Have fun!" This was when I became really excited!
There were lots of things to see in Yellowstone, and we basically had to drive to each point. So as we were driving through Yellowstone on the winding road, we came across a bunch of parked cars and people standing outside with their cameras. We quick pulled over to see what everyone else was seeing and right away we saw him, large, brown, antlers and all, such a majestic creature. He looked so strong and sovereign like he was the leader of all the animals in the park. As goofy as it sounds, in a way I felt like I was a part of the animal life in Yellowstone. I felt at home. Even though the elk doesn't necessarily come off as a vicious, frightening creature, I feared him, almost like the way you fear God, in a good way. I instantly had this respect for the elk because I was standing in his territory, on his land. He had this unexplainable effect on me, almost like he was putting me in my place just by his presence. He made me want to be more bold, independent, and confident myself, to attain the qualities that he has. I had never experienced such a feeling in my life, and I don't want to forget it. It's funny now that I think about it, I love animals so much but sometimes when I (and humans in general) get caught up in our busy, technological, modern day lives, we forget we are sharing this earth with so many other amazing creatures. Just because we have the cognitive capacities to think, make decisions, problem-solve, have emotions (...etc.), I don't believe we humans were created to take full control over the world and take everything for ourselves and to our benefit, but to use those mental abilities to protect and preserve the other animals we live with, to help them grow and prosper.
My fascination with wildlife and nature continues...
That night, we went to an amphitheater presentation in the campground we were staying at. The park ranger talked about the history of Yellowstone, their famous geysers, and even went into detail about teeny tiny organisms living in the hot springs, which was so interesting to hear about. It was like biology class all over again! Extremophiles are organisms that live in extreme conditions like temperature, acidity, pressure etc. and the group is broken down into bacteria and archaea (single-celled). They are able to withstand high temperatures because they contain special proteins that are resistant to high temps. The reason life in hot springs is so important is because it has brought up the idea of there being life on the moon or other planets! And the way extremophiles survive is by producing energy from inorganic compounds unlike most organisms that produce energy from organic compounds. Here are some pictures I took!
So as I sat through this presentation, I felt that sense of confirmation that I am finally on the right track of what I'm supposed to do in my life, learn about animals and our earth, and most of all finding out what it is I can do to make a difference. I think it took getting out into the world and truly experiencing nature firsthand rather than just in a classroom in high school. Too bad high school can't consist of pure traveling! All you need is to find something that puts a smile on your face and makes your heart flutter when you think about it. I guess it could be similar to finding the one you're supposed to marry!
The next day we went for one more hike before leaving town, and this one was where I was hoping to see a bear. Well, I kind of did but also kind of didn't want to. There were signs at the beginning "Beware!" and "What to do if you see a bear" with a list of steps. I started to get slightly nervous and felt my heart pounding faster, like how you feel when you're going up a roller coaster. I stayed alert and looked around, tapping two sticks together so that there weren't any surprises. The whole time I had to pray to God that he'd give me strength and courage to know what to do when I'd see this bear ( I was determined to find one). I actually played it out in my head over and over what I would do if I saw a bear and how I would react. We kept going along, hiking higher and higher into the trees as the road below us started to disappear. It made me more nervous but it was okay. I wanted to be tested and in this position. I wanted to be tested by God to see if I truly trusted him. I noticed myself fully trusting him when I could freely hike without a care in the world. I didn't feel afraid anymore, and all I could think about was how fun it is to be surrounded by trees and hearing the crunch of my boots on the ground. I began to think that if I died from a bear, at least I'd be in my element, nature and animals. However, I didn't end up seeing a bear, and to be honest I was relieved. I think I realized that maybe God just wanted me to see how it feels like to trust him not knowing what the outcome will be.
Pics of my hike in bear country...
The three main things I learned on this trip are important to me because I never really figured them out just living in my Kalamazoo apartment, going through my day to day routine. Being placed in positions (getting lost, not knowing where we were sleeping, getting discouraged about money, or eaten by bears) like this, you have no choice BUT to trust God. Being in one place your whole life only lets you have one perspective. It's like reading one chapter in a book. You have to travel in order to learn, to read more chapters, to appreciate what you have. And finally, traveling is a must so that you can see what life and our world really has to offer so that you can find what it is you're meant to do to make a difference. There are so many opportunities and new things to try and breathtaking views to see. If you want to see your problems diminish, then go drive through mountains, swim in the Missouri River, sit on the edge of the Grand Canyon, get as close as you can to an elk or a bison, take a hike in Bear Country where fighting a bear becomes your only problem. It's truly a blessing.
As I'm trying to figure out how to organize this entry and conclude, I am beginning to become overwhelmed by more that I want to say....I guess I'm starting to think I could write a book? But I don't know if such an experience can even be explained in a book. These are only a few of the highlights of my trip so the only way is for you to go experience it for yourself. It will change your life in at least one way if not many. Before this trip, I had been weary about where my life was headed and if I was on the right path but after coming back, I am sure God has me right where he wants me to be.
Well, that wasn't exactly how things went. But I believe that if something isn't how you expect it, that just means it's something to learn from, and this trip was one of those times. God brought to my attention three things: learning to trust Him fully and undoubtedly, learning to appreciate where I come from, and lastly confirmation for my life career. Let me tell you the story of how the first day went (mostly because it's hilarious but also a lesson learned)
The first night was great, well, started great. We reserved a hotel ahead of time in St. Louis, Missouri (only because there were no campgrounds whatsoever!). Driving downtown St. Louis was the beginning of the hectic downtown traffic we'd experience on this trip. St. Louis was quite lively as they had a concert going on under the arch (Kid Rock was there!) and a baseball game in the Cardinal Stadium. Despite the chaos, we found a nice little parking spot on the side of a street, hopped out and started walking around the city. We found a little park area they have centered in the city and made wishes as we threw pennies into the fountain.We walked up and down the streets and ate at an Italian restaurant in which we discovered the boxty! We had never heard of a boxty, but apparently it is a famous italian food. It's like a pancake with whatever meat or vegetables etc. rolled up inside, all fried and greasy :)
We followed a crowd through the fair/concert and took some pictures of the arch, and did lots of wandering around and observing. As it started to get later, we thought we should beat the rush out of St. Louis before we get caught up in traffic and so that we could have time to swim at the hotel! We headed to where we were parked but when we got where we thought it was, my car was not there. We decided to just check all the streets on "this" side of the arch. We KNEW it was on "this side of the arch" facing the arch. Still nowhere to be found. Okay, so maybe it was on the other side of the arch and our memory was just inaccurate. So we checked the streets on the other side, still nowhere to be found! What was our problem! There were many cops around monitoring the area and directing traffic so we thought if worse came to worse, we could just ask a cop to help us. But we wanted to find it on our own! We convinced ourselves that this is just a lesson from God, so we searched and searched some more, feet killing us, backs hurting, kind of weary about who was around us. I had many thoughts about what could have happened. Was it stolen? Did someone break in and steal all our luggage? What on earth happened!
Finally a couple hours later, I went to an intersection where I saw two cops.They both looked at us and out of breath I said "We need help-(sigh)." The woman came over and I explained that we could NOT seem to find my car and wondered if a cop could drive us around. She said all the police were very busy and probably couldn't drive us around but that we could report it stolen. I thought, you have got to be kidding me, when I was 7 years old in safety town, they always said police are there to help you and if you're lost, look for a policeman. I knew right then that that was probably what happened, my car had been stolen, but then I said "But how can I just jump to that conclusion that someone stole it! Maybe we're just dumb." She explained how someone could break into a car and said that with St. Louis being rated second in the country for crime rates, she wouldn't doubt it! Thanks lady! She then told us where the Police Headquarters were so we could figure out what to do.
We got there and the policeman called the 911 dispatcher for me to talk to. I explained to her the situation and she asked questions about what street we were parked on and other details, and I could not believe things had gotten to this point. I was almost on the verge of tears but kept thinking it's gonna be fine, we have to find it eventually, this won't last forever. It had gotten so late and dark out, which added to the effect of this whole situation feeling like a dream. I told the dispatcher that we were too stupid to look at the street we were parked on. I went on to try and make us not sound stupid by explaining we're just used to our hometown and knowing where things are. You can just park and use your intuition to know where you parked, but in all likelihood, we sounded more stupid 'cause she said "You don't know what STREET you parked on?!?"
She asked me a few more questions and finally said that she would send an officer to us. We went to the waiting room and waited.
(About half hour later)
A man in uniform walked in with a look on his face that expressed 'Alright, this is ridiculous' I kind of wanted to laugh because I knew it was incredibly ridiculous but I seriously needed to find my car! As stupid as I felt, I explained the situation to him and he asked the same questions that everyone had been asking us: what street were you parked on, what direction, what side of the arch, what buildings were you next to. We honestly had no idea anymore, so finally we went out to his Police SUV and he asked my license plate number (which was the only thing I DID remember, oddly enough). He found that at least it hadn't been towed, good thing! He told us to hop in the back of his SUV...we said "Ookay!" as Emma and I both raised our eyebrows as we exchanged excited glances. He moved some things over and we got in, and first thing we saw was a gun secured upright right in front of our eyes. My mood lifted and I thought to myself, This is gonna be fun! He started to drive up and down the streets and of course making U-turns whenever he felt like it.....which was pretty attractive! I said, "Sorry, you probably have more important things to be doing." and he responded "Well....I mean...." like he knew he really did but didn't want to be mean. I found his response even more hilarious. I went through so many emotions during this car ride: the verge of laughter, tears, frustration, and giddy over this policeman.
I can't tell you how many cars we thought were possibly mine, but turned out not. He kept asking us different questions to help us remember where we were parked, and Emma and I were convinced we were in a certain area. Time went on, and he was still drivin' around town and finally I was able to relax a bit. It helped that he was cute, and smelled good, and had country music playing on the radio. I found myself singing along a few times. We were able to start to remember a few things about how we drove into St. Louis and what streets we turned on. One thing led to another and he said "See, it's all coming back!" I looked at Emma and almost busted out in song by Celine Dion "It's all coming back, it's all comin' back to me no-o-oww."
After about 45 mins of driving around, I spotted my car on this tiny angle street, so he drove up to it and sure enough there was Grover! (yes, my car has a name). I said "Did we go on this street??" and he said "No, no...but we went passed it." This made me think we weren't the only ones to had a hard time! Emma and I hopped out and said "Thank you" a million times to the cop, who we think's name is Nicholas. We sat in my car and about PEED our pants, we could not stop laughing and crying! It was one of those stomach wrenching laughs where you're laughing so hard that there's no sound. We were crying out of pure joy that we finally found my car but laughing because it was probably the most awkward situation we had ever been in in our entire lives.
As ridiculous as this story was, it truly made me realize that I need to start trusting God will take care of us, and to remember what street we park on! We were thankful God placed us in this situation this only the first day so that we would remember next time. Each time we parked somewhere, we made sure we knew the name of the street we were parked on. It seems like it would be common sense, and yes it really is...but it was an eye opener to me. Sometimes it takes having the actual experience or situation happen before learning your lesson.
Besides learning to be aware of our surroundings, I learned to appreciate where I come from. After St. Louis, we traveled through Arrow Rock, MO;Omaha, NE; Platte, SD, and then into Wyoming. I never knew how non-civilized these states were. There are no people, houses, or cities for miles and miles. All we saw out the window was farmland, cows, crop fields, and just plain land, sometimes even just old junk or rusty machinery. There were many times where we didn't know when the next gas station or campground would be, but all we could do was drive. There was a tiny town that I remember passing through (can't remember what state-there were plenty now that I think about it) but there was just a few houses, a fast food joint, a bank, an elementary school and maybe a few other buildings. I remember specifically wondering what people do around there. There's an elementary school, but what about high school or college? They just have to leave their hometown when they get a certain age? And what about for fun? It dawned on me that maybe the only thing they do is farming, literally. I always thought it would be fun to live on a farm and do the whole country living thing, but I actually felt more appreciative of where I come from.
I was born and raised in Grand Rapids, MI., and in Michigan, we have the city, country, forest and beach all in one. One day you can get all dressed up, looking glamorous, heading out to a fancy restaurant downtown and then to a concert at Van Andel while the next day, putting on your jeans and boots to go out horseback riding, hunting, fishing, hiking or whatever wild outdoor adventure you choose! And the day after that, you can put your bikini on and have a lazy day at Lake Michigan or even take the speedboat for ride. We have a Meijer, Wal-mart, or Target (if not all) on just about every street. We have a gas station around every corner. We have endless restaurant choices, and plenty of events happening all the time everywhere you go seems like. No matter what direction you choose to drive, you will hit city, country, trees, and maybe even water. This is what I have found to love so much about Michigan.
You don't have to be one "type" of person and have just one hobby or thing you love to do. There are so many opportunities in Michigan to fulfill whatever desires you have. Maybe this is why we're so overpopulated? When I was younger, I'd always say to my mom "Why do we live in junky, boring Michigan? You could've chosen anywhere, but why Michigan?" I think I'm beginning to know why (smile). This isn't to say that I've changed my mind about living in a different state for a change (eventually) but it has made me appreciate Michigan so much more. When my girlfriends and I have a craving for oreos while watching our chick flicks, we are able to quick run over to the grocery store to fulfill that desire! I am able to drive my car until it gets to E and THEN put gas in, not having to worry about finding a gas station. If I want to long-board, run, or bike somewhere to get exercise instead of driving, I can do it! If I want to get away from the hustle and bustle of busy people in the city, I can find peace in a random field or park, at a lake, or nature preserve. I can observe wildlife around me, or even go to Binder Park Zoo where despite Michigan's overpopulation, they maintain the proper environment and amount of land for their variety of animals.
We have hospitals and health centers and schools everywhere. I am lucky to be surrounded by all of this, and to have my every "need" met. While driving through these plain states, I pictured myself living there and played out in my head what I would need to do in certain situations, being in the middle of nowhere. It was honestly hard to comprehend what I would do if I went into labor, sliced my finger off, needed gas, or how I would live without ice cream at 1 am. I feel very fortunate and blessed by where I come from.
Not only did I appreciate what state I live in but I was constantly being reminded to be grateful for everything I have, money, a job, a place to live, a car, family, good health. I can't tell you the number of homeless people we saw on the side of the streets, dirty clothes, pushing grocery carts, crying or talking to themselves, begging for money. Here I'm able to take this gigantic road trip across the country and they're just trying to find their next meal. I hope to continue to be reminded that I'm blessed.
Yellowstone National Park was where I found confirmation for what I believe I was born to do, to learn about and make a difference in nature and animal's lives.Yeah, yeah it sounds so cliche or cheesy but I truly mean it. The first night at Yellowstone was a nightmare only because we could not find any open campgrounds. They were all full so we ended up staying at a crazy expensive hotel just outside the park. The next day, we drove back in early so we could make sure we got a site! We got our site and went on to start exploring! As most of you probably know, Yellowstone is known for having a variety and abundance of wildlife. When we had entered the park, they said something like "Remember! There are about 400 bears and over 2,000 bison between here and the end of the park. Have fun!" This was when I became really excited!
There were lots of things to see in Yellowstone, and we basically had to drive to each point. So as we were driving through Yellowstone on the winding road, we came across a bunch of parked cars and people standing outside with their cameras. We quick pulled over to see what everyone else was seeing and right away we saw him, large, brown, antlers and all, such a majestic creature. He looked so strong and sovereign like he was the leader of all the animals in the park. As goofy as it sounds, in a way I felt like I was a part of the animal life in Yellowstone. I felt at home. Even though the elk doesn't necessarily come off as a vicious, frightening creature, I feared him, almost like the way you fear God, in a good way. I instantly had this respect for the elk because I was standing in his territory, on his land. He had this unexplainable effect on me, almost like he was putting me in my place just by his presence. He made me want to be more bold, independent, and confident myself, to attain the qualities that he has. I had never experienced such a feeling in my life, and I don't want to forget it. It's funny now that I think about it, I love animals so much but sometimes when I (and humans in general) get caught up in our busy, technological, modern day lives, we forget we are sharing this earth with so many other amazing creatures. Just because we have the cognitive capacities to think, make decisions, problem-solve, have emotions (...etc.), I don't believe we humans were created to take full control over the world and take everything for ourselves and to our benefit, but to use those mental abilities to protect and preserve the other animals we live with, to help them grow and prosper.
My fascination with wildlife and nature continues...
That night, we went to an amphitheater presentation in the campground we were staying at. The park ranger talked about the history of Yellowstone, their famous geysers, and even went into detail about teeny tiny organisms living in the hot springs, which was so interesting to hear about. It was like biology class all over again! Extremophiles are organisms that live in extreme conditions like temperature, acidity, pressure etc. and the group is broken down into bacteria and archaea (single-celled). They are able to withstand high temperatures because they contain special proteins that are resistant to high temps. The reason life in hot springs is so important is because it has brought up the idea of there being life on the moon or other planets! And the way extremophiles survive is by producing energy from inorganic compounds unlike most organisms that produce energy from organic compounds. Here are some pictures I took!
So as I sat through this presentation, I felt that sense of confirmation that I am finally on the right track of what I'm supposed to do in my life, learn about animals and our earth, and most of all finding out what it is I can do to make a difference. I think it took getting out into the world and truly experiencing nature firsthand rather than just in a classroom in high school. Too bad high school can't consist of pure traveling! All you need is to find something that puts a smile on your face and makes your heart flutter when you think about it. I guess it could be similar to finding the one you're supposed to marry!
The next day we went for one more hike before leaving town, and this one was where I was hoping to see a bear. Well, I kind of did but also kind of didn't want to. There were signs at the beginning "Beware!" and "What to do if you see a bear" with a list of steps. I started to get slightly nervous and felt my heart pounding faster, like how you feel when you're going up a roller coaster. I stayed alert and looked around, tapping two sticks together so that there weren't any surprises. The whole time I had to pray to God that he'd give me strength and courage to know what to do when I'd see this bear ( I was determined to find one). I actually played it out in my head over and over what I would do if I saw a bear and how I would react. We kept going along, hiking higher and higher into the trees as the road below us started to disappear. It made me more nervous but it was okay. I wanted to be tested and in this position. I wanted to be tested by God to see if I truly trusted him. I noticed myself fully trusting him when I could freely hike without a care in the world. I didn't feel afraid anymore, and all I could think about was how fun it is to be surrounded by trees and hearing the crunch of my boots on the ground. I began to think that if I died from a bear, at least I'd be in my element, nature and animals. However, I didn't end up seeing a bear, and to be honest I was relieved. I think I realized that maybe God just wanted me to see how it feels like to trust him not knowing what the outcome will be.
Pics of my hike in bear country...
The three main things I learned on this trip are important to me because I never really figured them out just living in my Kalamazoo apartment, going through my day to day routine. Being placed in positions (getting lost, not knowing where we were sleeping, getting discouraged about money, or eaten by bears) like this, you have no choice BUT to trust God. Being in one place your whole life only lets you have one perspective. It's like reading one chapter in a book. You have to travel in order to learn, to read more chapters, to appreciate what you have. And finally, traveling is a must so that you can see what life and our world really has to offer so that you can find what it is you're meant to do to make a difference. There are so many opportunities and new things to try and breathtaking views to see. If you want to see your problems diminish, then go drive through mountains, swim in the Missouri River, sit on the edge of the Grand Canyon, get as close as you can to an elk or a bison, take a hike in Bear Country where fighting a bear becomes your only problem. It's truly a blessing.
As I'm trying to figure out how to organize this entry and conclude, I am beginning to become overwhelmed by more that I want to say....I guess I'm starting to think I could write a book? But I don't know if such an experience can even be explained in a book. These are only a few of the highlights of my trip so the only way is for you to go experience it for yourself. It will change your life in at least one way if not many. Before this trip, I had been weary about where my life was headed and if I was on the right path but after coming back, I am sure God has me right where he wants me to be.
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